There’s a process. You just have to understand these steps before you can fully grasp the surreal Kavanaugh confirmation process that has torn our nation apart these last few weeks. If you understand the accompanying rules and also agree to abandon what your own eyes and ears are telling you, your frustration will be reduced as you join a cause that is even bigger than truth and justice.
The first step is to — other than giving convincing lip service — completely ditch any consistent loyalty to reality. Toss it in the trash, quickly. Judge every claim based solely on its current political value. If reality is inconvenient, ignore it. Actually, don’t ignore it. Become hostile to it. Treat those waiting for corroboration and evidence — the fingerprints of reality — as the insensitive misogynist pigs they are, even if they aren’t. Waiting for truth that may be inconvenient is a foolish choice. Operate on the “truth” of your own creation that works best for your side.
The second step is to act as though a tradition of universal civil protections doesn’t exist, and never did exist. Gaslight anyone who suggests the cockamamie idea that an accuser bears any burden of proof. Ridicule the preposterous notion that innocence of the accused should ever be presumed. Expect that everyone should just know and accept that the seriousness of an accusation compensates for a lack of corroborating witnesses, specificity, or any physical evidence whatsoever. Who needs evidence when an accusation is so serious?
The third step is to replace the work of reason and logic with the efficiency of viciousness. Make your opponents feel ashamed for their skin color or gender. Publicly ridicule them for even daring to express a dissenting opinion. Marginalize them into the corners of societal shame so they will keep their unworthy inferior privileged mouths shut. Attempting civility with those that value civility put you at a disadvantage. Destroy them by linking unrelated traits they’re no expecting to have to defend. He’s white? He’s a man? He’s privileged? Of course he’s guilty.
Step four is to blame your opponent no matter what happens and no matter how many concessions they make. Agenda schedule adjustments, accuser accommodations, allowing further investigation, delaying a process. None of it is ever enough. None of it will ever be enough. Find something wrong with every single step of the way and amplify it through willing media accomplices as an unprecedented grievance that threatens our very republic. Keep changing the rules and raising the expectations so they’re always just out of reach.
Fifth, help the public replace their capacity for critical thinking, with emotion that makes them feel important. Condescendingly ask your opponents have-you-stopped-beating-your-wife questions incessantly, and never ever let your opponents deceive the masses with the dangerous and toxic combination of logic and reasoning that might cause others to question your unassailable virtue. It also helps to chant thoughtful-ish phrases over and over and over again, like “This is what democracy looks like!” and “F— Trump!” These tend to activate a section of the public you’ll find… helpful.
Some may question your integrity, your honesty, your sincerity. But we all know integrity is overrated when a seat on the Supreme Court is at stake.
Associated Press award-winning columnist Neal Larson of Idaho Falls is the author of “Living in Spin.” He is a conservative talk show host on KID Newsradio 106.3 and 92.1, and also at www.kidnewsradio.com. “The Neal Larson Show” can be heard weekday mornings from 6:00 to 10:00. His email address is firstname.lastname@example.org.